


A Troubled Mind

by chiogaru



Series: Konoha meets Shangrila - The Great Shinobi-Yokai Alliance!!! [9]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Neji would have probably made an awesome sensei, Regret, Self-Harm, Self-Loathing, Swearing, blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:02:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiogaru/pseuds/chiogaru
Summary: Obito blames himself for the consequences of his own actions, and sets down a path of self-destruction until his sensei intervenes.





	

Obito doubles over as pain laces from his arm straight through to his chest before fading away into a dull ache…wounds and bone had healed…but they are still 'tender' and being forbidden to train…he does the next best thing…building his chakra, focusing it in his fist and pounding away mercilessly on the surrounding rocks and trees…until both hands are raw and bloody. 

"Fuck!" Another punch, more pain. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Obito is no masochist but the pain is a welcome alternative to the numbing guilt-ridden void that would otherwise send his fatigued mind spiralling into the dark emptiness of despair. 

The same thing…the same images…every time he shuts his eyes…smoke…the attack…blood…his father's face…his team-mates' faces…and over all that…silence except for the erratic beating of his own heart. The fear that coils up from deep within sickens him every time… 

He hadn't been to the hospital since he was discharged, he just couldn't bear facing his father. Having to spend the time he did in the same room with him was almost stifling. 

*** *** *** 

Obito wanders the streets of Konoha looking for a bar that he hadn't been kicked out of recently. Liquor seems to be the only way to dull his mind enough in order for him to get some sleep, he hadn't had a restful night's sleep since… _it_ had happened. 

"Obito-kun!" 

He sighs, he thought he had made it clear that he just does not want to deal with them, 'You'd think ignoring them for two months or so would give them a hint…' 

Three voices gasp when they catch sight of his bloodied fists. 

"Obito-kun! Your hands!" One of the girls or 'vultures' exclaims. 

The masked Jounin smiles a little at the memory, it seemed like it had happened such a long time ago, he finds himself vaguely wondering what she might be up to, 'She's probably found herself a boyfriend by now...' 

One of the girls reaches for his hands but Obito steps back, "Don't touch me…" He tells her. 

"But…your hands…at least let me clean and bandage them for you!" This time she succeeds but Obito pulls back aggressively sending the girl stumbling back a few steps. 

"Fuck off!" He snaps. 

"O-Obito-kun…" The girl starts to sniffle as her two friends stand on either side of her, they're shocked and so is Obito, he had never raised his voice much less told a girl to 'fuck off' before and he doesn't like the fact that he's made one of them cry, after all, it's not her fault that he's so fucked up at the moment… 

"I'm sorry…" He tells her…all three of them quietly. "But please…I just want to be left alone…" And with that he turns away from them back on the hunt for a bar. 

*** *** *** 

He'd been forced to hit three different bars this time and Obito has the sneaking suspicion that someone has been telling the bartenders not to serve him too many drinks (if at all) even some of the liquor stores refused to sell him their wares, but collectively, he's managed to get himself reasonably smashed and scored three bottles of sake from a store, this time he'd had the sense to use the transformation jutsu and change into someone else, something he'd be doing more often from now on… 

The sun had long set by the time he reaches the memorial stone, he does not know just how many times he has actually read through the long list of names of those ninja who had been killed in action, but no matter how many times he's read through them, he always finds himself pausing at the one name. Uchiha Obito…his father's comrade and his namesake. He empties the second bottle as that sickening feeling coils in his gut once again…his name…and those of his father and friends could have been on there… 

"Fuck!" He smashes the bottle into the ground with enough force for it to shatter. He ignores the broken glass cutting into the flesh of his already battered hands. 

"Watch your language, Obito…" An all too familiar authoritative voice remarks from the dark shadows of the surrounding trees. 

"Leave me alone…" Obito mumbles as he grabs the remaining sake bottle but a hand rests on his own, 

"I think you've had enough Obito…" 

"Stop bothering me sensei…" The masked shinobi sighs. 

Hyuuga Neji eyes his former pupil sternly. "I'm afraid I cannot do that. Both Ren and Miu, and even your sister have approaches me with their concerns for you." He frowns. "And I see that they have good cause to worry…" 

"I don’t need anyone to worry about me. I'm not worth the trouble…" 

Neji sighs. "You may seem to be of that opinion, but the fact is that people who care about your wellbeing _are_ worried." 

"And what the fuck do you want me to do about that!" Obito hollers. "Just smile and pretend like nothing ever happened?!" 

"Then tell me Obito…what did happen?" Neji responds patiently. 

"I messed up is what happened!" Obito pounds his fist into the ground. "I nearly got them all killed…" 

Neji remains silent. 

"What the hell have I been doing all these years…" The silver-haired Nin mutters. "I couldn't fight to protect myself, so others had to do it for me. I was supposed to die out there…but instead…my father almost did…in my place." 

"…No one blames you for anything Obito…" 

"Well, I blame myself!" Obito hisses. "I was the one who made the mistake…" 

"Get over it." The Hyuuga tells him bluntly. 

"What?" 

"You are a Jounin. A shinobi of the Village hidden in the leaves, so stop the pity act and start acting like a ninja. Your father and team-mates are alive and it doesn't matter how skilled a ninja is. The chance of dying on a mission is always a realistic possibility, so instead of destroying your hands and drinking yourself senseless every day you should focus on getting stronger…" Neji pauses. "Or…you can just quit being a ninja and spend the rest of your life regretting your mistakes…" 

Obito doesn't say a word. 

The former sensei sighs and approaches the somewhat misguided youth, helping him to his feet and supporting him as he takes him to the Hyuuga compound…Obito does not protest. 

*** *** *** 

Neji watches the young man sleep…he still looks troubled…but his breathing is deep and steady. He'd cleaned and bandaged Obito's wounds and with his cousin's healing salve, they'd be fine within a few days… 

He eyes the angry red scars that line the masked Nin's right arm…he's pretty sure that there are more of them where he can't see, according to what Ren had told him, the silver-haired youth had been hit with a fierce fire jutsu. The skills of their village's medical ninja had significantly reduced the scarring, and it could have been much worse than it is. At least he didn't end up looking like Morino Ibiki… 

A permanent reminder of his mistakes, but perhaps it was this harsh real life lesson that the brash Jounin needed in order for him to become a ninja the village could be proud of…


End file.
